Unpacked with Ron Harvey
People Always Matter. Join Ron as he unpacks leadership with his guests.
Unpacked with Ron Harvey
Healing Beliefs and Elevating Leadership Practices
Unlock the secrets to transformative leadership with insights from seasoned coach Jessie Torres, who boasts over two decades of experience. Hear her powerful story of turning personal challenges into a mission to help leaders identify and conquer their blind spots. Jessie offers a treasure trove of wisdom on how continuous coaching can drive personal and professional growth, and how the meanings we attach to our experiences can lead to profound transformations.
Ready to elevate your emotional intelligence and fitness in the workplace? Jessie and I delve into the essence of emotional regulation, awareness, and intelligence as vital components for effective leadership. Drawing from the Institute of Heart Math and the intuitive business practices of icons like Richard Branson, we unravel how maintaining heart and mind coherence can empower leaders to make innovative decisions and anticipate future challenges.
We also dive into the critical balance between financial success and human connection. Jessie and I discuss how healing self-limiting beliefs and embracing compassionate leadership can prevent burnout and foster sustainable success. By prioritizing service over profit, leaders can cultivate authentic relationships and enhance team well-being. This episode is packed with practical strategies for any leader seeking to shift from a profit-driven mindset to one that values emotional and relational health.
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Just Make A Difference: Leading Under Pressure by Ron Harvey
“If you don’t have something to measure your growth, you won’t be self-aware or intentional about your growth.”
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The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and guests and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any organization or entity. The information provided in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional advice. Listeners should consult with their own professional advisors before implementing any suggestions or recommendations made in this podcast. The speakers and guests are not responsible for any actions taken by listeners based on the information presented in this podcast. The podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or services. The speakers and guests make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the information, products, services, or related graphics contained in this ...
Welcome to Unpacked Podcast with your host leadership consultant, Ron Harvey of Global Core Strategies and Consulting. Ron's delighted to have you join us as he unpacks and shares his leadership experience, designed to help you in your leadership journey. Ron believes that leadership is the fundamental driver towards making a difference. So now to find out more of what it means to unpack leadership, here's your host, Ron Harvey.
Speaker 2:Good afternoon. This is Ron Harvey. I'm the vice president and the chief operating officer for Global Course Strategies and Consulting, which is a leadership firm based out of Columbia, South Carolina, that we've been in business now about 10 years. My wife and I run the business together. Both of us are veterans and once we finished serving we wanted to figure out another way to give back to the community with everything we had learned over 20 plus years each, and we started an organization about leadership development, and since then we've added a podcast to what we do, which is just something we enjoy giving leaders across the globe to really unpack and talk about leadership that people don't often get to see or talk about on a platform or at a conference. We call it Unpacked because there are no questions in advance. We have real dialogue about real issues and about things that we've navigated through around leadership to make us more effective for the people we're responsible for and responsible to. So I'm always excited. I never know my guests 93% of them. I'm learning and meeting them as we come onto the show with you. So we spend some time in the green room and then we dive into the work, and so I'm always excited to put the microphone in front of our guests and allow us to just have a real organic conversation for about 20 minutes. So I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 2:It's Unpacked with Ron Harvey. Share the podcast. But I won't go into our company, Just say that you can Google us. You can find us on LinkedIn, Global Core Strategies and Consulting. I want to use our time to highlight our guest today. So, with that being said, I want to pause and I want to share the microphone. Welcome to the stage, Jessie. Thank you for saying yes, and this is where I'm going to allow her to introduce herself. However, she wishes to introduce herself.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you so much and thank you for having me. I don't take it lightly when I get to speak to people's audiences. Take it lightly when I get to speak to people's audiences, so I'm thrilled to be here and excited to talk about this very important topic, about leadership. I've been doing coaching now for gosh, a little over 20 years, something that I never knew existed. Back in the day, my therapist actually told me you should be a coach and I said soccer coach, like what does that mean? Right?
Speaker 3:But you know, what brought me here was a product of my own journey, but a product of my own honestly suffering and things that I had been through, that I got to a state of my life about 30 years ago where I just didn't know who I was. You know, I'm like how am I here? How am I at this state? I don't even know what my favorite color it is, because I had chameleoned my way through life, ensuring that I did and was everything I needed to do and be to keep the peace in my home. And so from that coming out of an apathetic state to wanting to live created an insatiable hunger to understand human beings, and from that I not only went to therapy, I went to coach, I went to seminars, I picked up books, I did workshops. I did everything I could possibly do to understand this human journey and it's brought me to really having a passion, a conviction to serve humanity at the level I want, as one woman can.
Speaker 2:Wow. So you know you gave me a whole lot to unpack, Jesse. Thank you so much. So now we got enough to take us these 20 minutes of all that you did and, as a coach and going through the journey, you know, thank you for sending information over. I have enough information to really walk through, and so let's unpack a little bit for us here. Coaching your journey brought you to coaching. What's the value for those that are in leadership roles, regardless of what industry, regardless of where you are in the world? How valuable is coaching and not soccer coach for those? Just listen. When I first heard coaching, I'm thinking sports too. So I got it, Jessie. That's the only time I ever heard of it. When I was a kid, I grew up and coached with someone with sports Right, but it's something different and people are on the fence about it. How valuable has coaching been for you? And then I'll go to the benefit of getting help. How valuable has coaching been for you personally?
Speaker 3:For me personally, it's been everything.
Speaker 3:The greatest part about coaching is that the jar can't read the outside of the label, right.
Speaker 3:And so we manage life, we go through life, we can read books, but we can't see our own blind spots, we don't see where we might have, especially now, being the coach, when I hear people's stories and they want to tell me their whole entire story, and I'm hearing the story, but what I'm hearing is the limitation that was created at the experience of something that hurt them. Right, it was the meaning they gave that experience, and that's what I'm hearing, for so oftentimes it's not the thing that happened, it's the human meaning we gave at the moment of our pain. And so I always say you have to look for the beauty or the gift in the pain, otherwise, if you don't, you will only remember the pain right. And so coaching for me has been everything the ability to get me to a higher state of evolution of my own spirit, my own journey and how I want to live the rest of my life. And I still have a coach that I go to because I know I'm a human being and I have blind spots.
Speaker 2:Wow. So a coach with a coach. So if you're listening and you're watching, never get so good that you don't feel like you don't need someone to come along on the journey for you. So when you think about you used the word earlier on the Jesse and you talk about a chameleon through life, they may refer to that as imposter syndrome or they may look at it as wearing a mask. I mean whatever language, if you're listening being a chameleon through life, how do you get out of that role? Because most of us were chasing careers. We're chasing degrees, we're trying to make family happy, we're trying to please everybody around us and we lose ourself in the moment.
Speaker 3:How do you get out?
Speaker 2:of that hamster wheel race of being a chameleon and never knowing your identity.
Speaker 3:You know that's such a great question and what I would say to that? Because I didn't know right. I was just in survival, I was just, you know, what I thought was going to save my kids, my family, from being hurt, and so I didn't know to see that there could be another way. And so what I would say is be a seeker. You know, if there's something that is causing contraction in your system or you're feeling like you're not, like I love this question ask people are you happy? And it's so interesting what people answer.
Speaker 3:Oftentimes it's well, I'm not unhappy, you know. Or they'll say well, no, because I haven't accomplished blank yet and I'm like well, but that means happiness is outside of you versus inside of you. When you get the thing, then you'll be happy, you know. So it's very interesting. So I would encourage people to be a seeker. You know, if there's something that you're not happy with or there's another level in your life that you want to get to and it's that knocking on your heart, you almost feel guilty for having it, because sometimes life is good, it's not bad, so why do I want the bigger thing? Like there's this calling that's knocking on your heart. Seek answers. Right now we have the information highway like crazy, right.
Speaker 3:Start asking questions, share with people you know, get books on whatever it is you're wanting you know, even spiritual awakening or whatever that is for you, that you know there's something else out there for you and you just want to see what it is. And oftentimes we keep it inside, we feel guilty for wanting more, or we don't share our big, audacious dream. And I'm here open up share with someone.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, jess, you're trying to get us in trouble because you said a couple of things here. You're talking about heart. Leaders don't have hearts, at least they don't want you to know. They have a heart, and then you're asking them to be vulnerable.
Speaker 3:Don't have hearts at least they don't want you to know. They have a heart. And then you're asking them to be vulnerable. How do I do that? Did you know that vulnerability is a superpower you know? Now, here's the thing I get it.
Speaker 2:You're not taught that, especially as a guy. I wasn't taught that. I taught it was a weakness. So vulnerability for me was not a superpower. It's like don't you let them see you sweat, don't you let them see you cry, don't you let them? And then you show up in corporate America and guess what? You don't know how to tap into those emotions and when you do, you think something's wrong with you.
Speaker 3:That's what society wants you to believe, right? But as leaders, we need to innovate. We need to see if everybody's going this way. We need to see what's going on over here, right?
Speaker 3:I was reading this amazing book. It's called Unreasonable Hospitality and in it the guy who wrote the story he has these big restaurants and he was having a very traumatic time and he was about to just hang it all up and his father was his mentor and so he was feeling all this adversity and all this pushback and his father said to him and I love this quote he said to him it's such a shame. His father said to him and I love this quote he said to him it's such a shame to waste opportunity in adversity, right? So when all the chaos is happening, there's opportunity there. Napoleon Hill said it as well. In Outwitting the Devil, he said with every bit of adversity there's a seed planted of unborn opportunity or its exact advantage. So if we start to see that, if everybody's doing this thing, I'm going to go this way.
Speaker 3:And as far as leadership is concerned, I think the leaders of tomorrow are the most authentic, the most aligned, the most congruent right that are going to help change the world. And if we don't have our emotions mastered, we're going to have a problem. We're going to be grinding and we're going to be pushing. How many exhausted leaders do we have Right when they're? Just like I'm tired of the grind? And if we don't navigate emotional mastery? For me it's three pillars. It's emotional awareness, emotional intelligence and emotional fitness.
Speaker 2:Let's unpack that, because I love it and this is for us to listen to, because leadership today is different than it was 20 years ago. 20 years from now, it'll be totally different again. But you laid out three pillars. Let's go through them, because I think this is gonna be value add. So if you're listening and you're watching and you pull out something, take some notes because if you're gonna spend time with this, walk away with something that makes you more effective. So can you walk through your three pillars and give us a little summary around each one of them?
Speaker 3:Sure. So emotional awareness is super important. Oftentimes you hear people say you can't bring emotions to the corporate room. Right, leave the emotions at the door, you know, and it's not wrong. But what I would say to it, it is emotions that are coming from a wound that you don't want in the corporate room. However, if you have emotional regulation and emotional awareness enough to know I'm about to respond from an emotionally wounded place or a hurt place or a defensive place or that, then stop right. But if you have emotional regulation, you can think, okay, what would be the greatest good, what would be the greatest good in this moment, not only for me, but for the higher good of all? Right, so now you have to bring emotion, because this game of leadership and business is a human game, it's a relationship game, right, that's all it is. And if we don't have our ability to regulate our own emotions, to know how to respond from a state of knowing that, no matter how much business we want to grow, it is a relationship game, then we need to be able to master emotional states of our clients as well. So, being able to have emotional awareness, capturing when you're triggered, when to take a breath, when to pull back right or when to say, oh my gosh, I'm feeling an emotional connect, an intuitive hit that says this is the way to go. There's a magic there that we're missing because it's knocked out of us. I actually did a study. I became a trainer for the Institute of Heart Math, which is an incredible institute that studied the rhythm of the heart for the last 30 to 40 years, and in it we had to do a presentation and I decided I was going to teach a corporate room and I did it on intuitive business decisions and I had a Harvard study. I had a Forbes magazine article and an Inc magazine that could attribute I think Branson was one of them who could attribute it. In total, it was like $67 million in additional revenue based on intuitive business decisions. So when you're able to capture that, ooh, emotionally this feels like it's not the right move to make, even though on paper and Branson said that even on paper, all the data says do this, it's a sure win move to make, even though on paper and Branson said that even on paper, all the data says do this, it's a sure win. And his whole team is telling him you're out of your mind. And he didn't do it and it tanked within that year, right. So, again, when we're able to really regulate our emotions, capture, feel that intuitive guidance like oh, this is a yes or this is a no, or to also be able to know when we're triggered and we're going to make an emotional decision from a heightened emotional state, then we need to take a breath and pull back. So I think that emotional mastery is super important.
Speaker 3:The next one is emotional intelligence. Now intelligence. When you have emotional intelligence, not only have you been able to harness the power of your own emotional regulation, but you're also able to have sensory acuity to the emotional response or the state of your clients, of your team. Right. So you're able to now tap into where is this feeling? Where it's like, even if you do public speaking, I go to public speaking and once I go and I'm talking to whatever, I can feel the pulse of the room and I know when it's time to do a pattern interrupt. You know everybody, stand up, shake your body out. You know high five the person next to you, whatever, right, like, because I can feel that people are getting drained. It's like, okay, we need a break, we need whatever. And so having emotional intelligence is the ability to have that sensory acuity outside of yourself once you've already regulated yourself, wow.
Speaker 3:And then the last one is fitness.
Speaker 3:Emotional fitness to me means, now that you've been able to self-regulate, you've been able to feel a pulse of the emotional state of the room.
Speaker 3:Now you have to practice it, you have to condition it, you have to become consistently aware, not ignore it, right Cause I think we had a saying that said in your head you're dead, right.
Speaker 3:So we can feel an emotion immediately about something, and then we turn it up into our brain and the next thing we know, we're trying to logicalize all the reasons why we shouldn't do the thing. Right. It needs to check all these boxes, and if it doesn't, then I'm not gonna do it. When our hit was ooh, I need to do this, right. So you just have to watch it. There's a beauty between the connection of both the heart and the mind and heart math talks about heart and mind coherence, and it's super, super important because that's when you open up to this universal intelligence, right, this aha moment or this idea that you didn't know you had. And as leaders, we need to be able to see the road ahead and innovate. And if we're in constant contraction because we don't have our emotions regulated, then we're not opening the door to something that we might not be able to see beyond our contracted state.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, thank you for walking through all three of those and giving us a summary that's very, very valid and you're bringing to heart, in the work that you do and the experiences you've had, how many leaders actually can manage all three of these effectively, consistently.
Speaker 3:Hmm, that's such a great question too. Again, it's a practice and, to your point, they don't know the value of this. I mean not all, but they don't know. It's just like. No, I just got to make sure I get the bottom line, I got to make sure my ROI is there, I got to assure my P&L thing is you know what I mean? And I just got to keep hustling, keep hustling.
Speaker 3:They grind, and a lot of the people that I work with are at that state of complete burnout. They're just like they're hitting rock bottom, to the point that they're almost resenting the very business that they loved. Right, because it's now. It's taking more of them and then, when people don't show up, they end up becoming, instead of the leaders, they become the managers and they're getting angry when people are showing up or they're showing up late or they're not doing the work and they're not realizing that, as the leader, they need to be able to have a team that supports the vision. That's another part of the emotional thing, like one of the things that I was told for many years. I really drive from love and love was like the nice thing. So I get patted in the head and it's just like that's nice, jesse. You're all about love, but love doesn't pay the bills. That's what I was told.
Speaker 2:Yes, we hear that a lot.
Speaker 3:Yes, we hear that a lot. What the fuck do I do with myself then? Now I say you know what? Tell me, it's not about love. So if you don't love your clients, you won't have any. If you don't love your team, they won't be connected to your mission, and if you don't love your family, they will leave you. So tell me, this whole freaking human game is not about love. It absolutely is. That's why bringing this emotion is so important to leadership, because if we're going to be the leaders of tomorrow, we want to turn this flipping thing around Then we have to be able to be heart-centered warriors out there leading the charge as an army of angels.
Speaker 2:Wow, I felt all your passion in this and so I'm paying attention and listening to phenomenal. What's the next question? You said a couple of things I want to unpack, and it's what would be the greatest good for leaders, and oftentimes it's not the ROI, it's not the bottom line. It's not the bottom line, it's not your profit margins. How do you, as a leader, when that's the pressure that's put on you to deliver those things, still do and manage to do what's the greatest good, which is about the human being, the people, the workforce. How do you separate the two? When there's some expectations in society, you got to deliver the numbers. You got to have an ROI.
Speaker 3:Well, one thing that's really important about that question is our belief system right? I believe that if you chase money, you will always chase money. So, no matter what you're doing, recognize that you're providing a service. Wealth follows service. So, if you want to build your roi, if you want to grow financially, if you really want to get your business to go supersonic, right, get clear on your numbers, because we need to know our numbers and then provide a level of service that yields you those results so let's use us for a second.
Speaker 2:We're both coaches. I love the idea. I don't think anyone put it that way. You know I believe in service as well. I say look, don't sell anybody anything. Service people. When you think of the wealth follows service. What does that look like for you and I? How do we show up to ensure that we're being of service versus chasing money?
Speaker 3:Really simple when I look at. Let's just say, you know, I'll just use easy numbers. Let's say package program to help serve somebody is 10 K. Okay, I need to make a 50 K month in order to hit all my financial goals, in order to pay my bills and in order to start building the wealth that I want to create, right. So, now that I know my numbers, I focus on five. I focus on five beautiful souls that need my help. I focus on being the answer to five beautiful people that are out there suffering, that need to clear the clutter of their trauma or whatever their pain is or whatever their limitation is. And I focus on five beautiful souls.
Speaker 2:Love it, love it. I packed another thing for you. When you think about where we are as a society and people not wanting to really go to this place of working through stuff that's slowing them down. We have self-limiting beliefs, a hard time, but we also struggle at getting through some of that stuff. How do you help people get past the self-limiting beliefs Like everybody's told you you're not good enough or you're not fast enough, you're not smart enough or whatever this enough thing is, you can fill in the blocks. I mean, if you just follow social media, enough, everybody feels like they're not enough. How do you get past being told you're not enough to become really, really good and be everything that you're designed to be?
Speaker 3:Love that question and my answer again is simple not easy. Yes, heal, you have to heal. I think that what we have now, in the information society that we have, is we have more information and what to do, that you know, we are knowing our way out of healing. Right, so we get the books, we go to the seminars, we make our move, we get okay, I'm going to push through and I'm going to think positive and do all the things, which is great. However, we're not healing. We're not healing the wounding. If somebody, if I called you this is funny If I called you an ugly, fat black woman right, you're smiling. I'm like well, come on, ron, why are you laughing?
Speaker 2:Right, you're smiling, I'm like well, come on, ron. Why are you laughing?
Speaker 3:This is not true, right? Yes, it's not true, right. So it's kind of funny. Well, that's interesting that that's what you see me as Right. But if I say you're never going to make it, you're not good enough to be a leader, right? All of a sudden we take it on and we're just like why would they say that?
Speaker 3:You know, now we're pushing through and we're living in this, having to prove energy, and what we don't know is it comes from that moment and I've coached people like this from the moment that the friend of the family looked at me and said that I would never be successful or I would never be as thin as my sister. And so now she's literally chasing worthiness on her accomplishments. She's chasing her own value and enoughness in the next, you know, score, and it's cat chasing its tail. And so I say, like, with all the information we have right now, it's like buying new software and installing it on an old OS. Right, we have an operating system that we haven't upgraded, and so we're putting new things, new information, information, okay, read the motivational books and do all the thing, but we're not upgrading the program. And so guess what happens? We glitch.
Speaker 3:And what pains me is that because we now know what to do and then we find ourselves stuck again. It invites a deeper level of shame. Because, man, now I read the books, I went to the seminars, I know what to do, but why am I here again? Because we are bypassing the healing that needs to happen. Because if you didn't have that wounding from before, if somebody says you'll never accomplish anything, you're not going to make it, you wouldn't even hear it. It'd be like calling me an ugly, fat, black woman. I don't understand why you think that, but oh well, what can I do about it? It's not going to affect me and I'm not going to wear it like a freaking dark cloak. It's because whatever happens in the now is triggering a scar from when we were little and we made meaning in our unconscious conditioning. And we all do it.
Speaker 3:We all do it Like. When I talk about trauma, you know people have this misconception that it's this big rape or this big, which it is, of course. However I say trauma is, is the meaning the child made at the moment of the experience. Yes, right, and it could be something simple. And I use a simple example of a five-year-old little boy who goes to the grocery store with his mom playing in the aisle with toys. Mom goes to the end of the aisle to grab something. She can see him, but he can't see her. He lifts up his head. Mom screams. Mom, she's like I'm right here 10 seconds, whatever. I'm right here 10 seconds, whatever.
Speaker 3:And in that moment he anchors abandonment I could be left behind. Now she goes to the grocery store, he's more clingy, he doesn't want her out of her sight. Now he's 35 and he's losing girlfriends because he's jealous, insecure and controlling. Because that moment, in this unconscious conditioning, created a thought that I could be left behind, and now he runs his life that way. We don't know to know, and a thought that I could be left behind, and now he runs his life that way. We don't know to know.
Speaker 3:And for leaders it's so important because we're good at what we're doing right, we accomplish good things and we've gotten this far, yes, but there's something there. If you feel there's contraction or there's something you're not accomplishing, you're not moving the needle forward in your wheel of life, then there's something there for us to just look at. And what's important when it comes to our trauma is I would say this because I have my father and I have my ex and all these things it's not to go to blame and it's not to re-injure trauma, but it's just to find understanding. If I have limitation today, there's something there for me to learn that was created in my unconscious conditioning that I need to bring to conscious awareness so that now I can make a conscious decision of what I do with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it and I think you're exactly right when you look at leaders and you look at how we show up in the workplace and most of them want to feel like they got it all together or they don't want to address some of the things that help them elevate themselves. And I think you're exactly right. I liken it to like when I'm traveling and I look at people you know, as they get on an aircraft, everybody wants to do a carry-on luggage. Now, like, nobody wants to check the luggage if they don't have to, like they'll do everything at all costs not to check the luggage because they just don't want to deal with that nightmare. So as I walk and I look in the airport, I said, man, the analogy in my head is their entire life. Like if you try to take that suitcase, oh, there's gonna be some problems Because we all have carry-on luggage. It's just a matter of what happens that causes us to start unpacking what's in it, right? So I tell people, like for leaders, when you see a leader show up, that's totally out of character, something's happening that's putting them in that place, and I see it quite often. My follow-up question for you something's happening that's putting them in that place and I see it quite often.
Speaker 2:My follow-up question for you when you think of leaders and you're coaching and you're helping in someone's transition from a manager to an executive role, have you noticed some characteristics of things that they got to shift or change to go to a higher level of leadership? What are some attributes? Say, hey, you're going from this thing where you did tactical, technical, but now you're going to where it's about people. What do I need to modify about me as a leader when I go from this role of me doing it to me trusting and depending and counting on other people to do it? And I do what my function is? Where's my growth opportunity?
Speaker 3:Well, you said it at the beginning of the call Vulnerability, right. So when I think about that and I'm imagining taking that extra step and now I have a bigger role and now I have more people to manage, and so people come with different things going on. You have the top salesperson and all of a sudden they're not selling anything and you don't realize that their spouse asked for a divorce, right, and things are blowing up. So it's like again, it's a human game. So I would get connected with each individual that I'm responsible for. I would try to understand, I would want to connect. How could I serve you as a leader to help you bring your A game right? What has to happen? Have compassion for everybody's state of being.
Speaker 3:I actually worked with a director of coaching and I was kind of side by side with him and the actual sales team was incredible, like the training, the script, they like they got it down and it was so beautiful because it was all service related. And yet, all of a sudden, the numbers tanked. Well, when we did an inquiry, we realized that one guy, his three kids it's like they were sick, one after the other. The wife ended up getting sick. He was up for almost four or five days just handling things, trying to help out with the family. Another one, his sister, had tried to commit suicide. I mean, there's all these things.
Speaker 3:When we started to do inquiry, I'm like, oh so it's not always the skillset, it's not always grind more, make it happen, make more phone calls. It's just like let me check in. What's going on right. What's going on with Matt? What's going on with Karen? What's going on? And start asking and really staying connected to your team, because now you're up leveling and the best level of service you can give your team is one check in on them, make sure that they're at their A game. What can they have to be supported? And sometimes it's just asking that question how are things right? Just knowing that you care right and then bringing additional skill sets or additional innovation, but being that curious leader that is looking at what else can happen in order to build a bigger team. So stay connected.
Speaker 2:Yes, thank you, Jessie. A final question what about the leader that says Ron, I got to make the numbers? I don't have time for the check-ins. I've listened to it, I've heard it. I don't have time to do the one-on-ones. I have five direct reports. I have all these numbers I need to meet. I just don't have the time in the month to do check-ins.
Speaker 3:I would say you don't have time not to Right. I would say you don't have time not to right, because that's another indicator of leaders that will grind and grind and grind and when you don't do those check-ins it makes me think where else does this show up in your life? What else are you saying you don't have time for? You know you don't have time to connect with your spouse. You don't have time to go to the soccer game with your kids because you got to go make the numbers. You don't have time to do self-care, to do your own meditation, to do your own rituals. What else don't you have time for?
Speaker 2:Well did she unpack that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she unpacked that and you went like, okay, well, what else don't you have time for? And I don't think we ask ourselves that because we just want to compartmentalize, but we're actually probably modeling that everywhere throughout our life. I love the question what else don't you have time for? And it's costing you more than you're willing to pay, and most of us don't look at it because it's going to cost. If you don't have time, then it's going to cost you somewhere where you may not want to pay that. So, jesse, phenomenal conversation. How would you leave the group? Everybody that's listening and that's following us? What are some tips that you would leave based on our conversation about showing up, dealing with trauma, dealing with the different levels of emotional intelligence, and how do you stay connected emotionally After all of that? What would you leave us with?
Speaker 3:I would leave with a reminder that you matter, right, you matter, so check yourself If you want to be the best leader out there. The first part of leadership is how do you lead yourself right? Like you said for that person, what things are you skipping on with yourself? Are you working out? Are you maintaining your health right? When I think about health and fitness, I don't think about just going to the gym. I think that's a part of it, but what I think about is the discipline. What I think about is the consistency and going to the gym is just a matter, a reflection, of being able to have that discipline of self-care. What are you skipping on? Make sure that if you can lead yourself to have a consistent regimen that helps you be in your heightened state of being, then you'll be able to lead others to do the same.
Speaker 3:In a group of coaches that I worked with, you know the question was asked if somebody Googled you, would they be inspired? Right now, I get it. Nowadays we put out there what we want people to see, but at the same time, you know there's a lot of different things that show up that you might not want, but right. But if you're living your best life and you want to lead others, then you may as well freaking, walk your talk so you matter. Take care of you. How are you leading yourself? How are you leading your family? And that will be a big reflection. How we do the little things is how we do everything. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So, jessie, phenomenal conversation. How do people contact you, whether it's for a podcast, whether it's for looking for a coach, whether it's working through any of the trauma? You know there's a lot. You know your bio is solid, so can you tell us how do we make contact with you and reach you? Because I always want to create an opportunity to where people that listen have access to you. How do we gain access?
Speaker 3:Absolutely Well. First of all, I have a freebie to give your audience.
Speaker 2:I love freebies.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a quick 10 step guide to freedom. I call it, and it's just things that you can do right now, no matter what your situation. No matter you're listening to this you're like, yeah, jesse, but you don't understand my calendar's full, I don't have that. Whatever, it is right, this will give you things that you can do right now, no matter what your situation. So I'm happy to share that. And number two unshakable lifecom is my website. Schedule a call with me. It's a free call and we'll do an assessment. We'll do an assessment, we'll check in. Right, we don't know, you know, how to get to where we want to go if we don't know where we are right now. So let's just take a look at where you're, at what your needs are, and I'm happy to connect with you and get you there.
Speaker 2:Awesome Unshakable life dot com and you've been unshakable here. I mean every question she was like, and it's like all authentic, nothing rehearsed. We just had a real organic conversation. Thank you so much for being on Shakeable on here sharing your experiences. We'd love to be able to, in a several months, bring you back on and continue the conversation. If you have anything else out there where we can use the podcast to promote something that you're doing, feel free to reach out. But thank you for the audience Again. Ron Harvey, with Unpacked with Ron Harvey had. But thank you for the audience Again.
Speaker 2:Ron Harvey, with Unpacked with Ron Harvey, had a wonderful time bringing Jesse on. Jesse Torres, appreciate you for being here with us and for everyone. She said something that's important and I say it all the time. I say people always matter and she said you matter. Please remember that it's hard to help people when you won't help yourself. That's right. Take care of yourself. We care about you and we hope you care enough about you to take care of you. So thank you for joining us for today. That wraps it up for Jess and I on Unpacked with Ron Harvey. Until next time, please share it with your friends, your family, your loved ones, your coworkers, your colleagues. Either one of us will be happy to support you. I believe in sharing the stage. There's enough for both of us, or either of us, to support you. Please reach out to one of us if you need anything that we talked about here today.
Speaker 1:Well, we hope you enjoyed this edition of Unpacked Podcast with leadership consultant Ron Harvey. Remember to join us every Monday as Ron unpacks sound advice, providing real answers for real leadership challenges. Until next time, remember to add value and make a difference where you are, for the people you serve, because people always matter.
